Sister U Matter!

Actor Samuel L. Jackson is featured in a series of commercials advertising a credit card company. You may have seen at least one of them. He talks about the perks of having this particular credit card in your possession. He asks the question: What’s in your wallet? This question is an invitation to look in your wallet and see what’s in there (or at least to think about it). What credit card is in there; specifically, is the credit card that he’s advertising in there?

So I’m asking you this question: What’s in your character?

• Yes, we may be dependable but are we trustworthy?

• Yes, we are nice but are we kind?

• Yes, we are truthful but are we honest?

• Yes, we are generous but are we genuine?

• Yes, we may be dedicated but are we loyal, committed?

See, without really knowing what’s truly in our character, we tend to walk around thinking that our “good” actions are a true reflection of what’s in our hearts. For example, I can be generous—give you the very shoes off of my feet and the shirt off of my back but does that mean that I am genuine or compassionate? I could be giving my stuff away, outwardly showing that I care about the person I just gave my stuff to, but then turn around and tell everyone that will listen about the person I just helped’s condition, situation or status. How genuine or compassionate is that?

What’s in your character? Does your outside really reflect what is on the inside? See, when tough times come, it’s your character—the stuff in your heart—that comes out. I encourage you to take inventory of what’s in your character. You just may be surprised at what you find.

Spread the word…Sister U Matter!®

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Don’t wait to do what you know you are purposed to do. Take a step, even if it is a very small one.  Start today. Start right now. That step could be even as simple as starting to discover what your purpose may be. Our life span here on Earth is so short and unpredictable. We truly can be well and living one moment and the very next moment, not well and/or not even living.

I am encouraging you in this way because I have witnessed (I’m sure you have too) and so many others are experiencing the sudden loss of a loved one. In many cases, the loved one was still so full of expectancy regarding all of the things they would accomplish with the rest of their lives and sometimes with a second chance at life. But suddenly and catching their loved ones by surprise, they leave this world still full of all of the purpose, hopes and dreams that they had come to cherish and anticipate.

Don’t wait. Live your purpose. Tomorrow is not promised. (To be really honest about it, the rest of today is not even promised.) Trust me--there will never be a perfect time. There will never be perfect conditions. There will always be something that seems out of sync but don’t let that stop you from moving forward towards achieving your purpose, your hopes and your dreams.

Spread the word…Sister U Matter!®

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I recently overheard a conversation between two ladies. One lady was complaining about her chaotic work environment; it was not peaceful or unified. She was saying that the place was chaotic before she started working there (she was a new employee) and she hoped that the next place she worked would be at the very least, peaceful.

After hearing this exchange, I began to wonder what had she done to influence peace (the change she wanted to see) in her current new work environment. Had she participated in activities that did not promote peace or unity? Had she developed relationships with the peace breakers? Had she been secretly speaking negatively about any of the co-workers with the other co-workers (you know, talking behind their backs)? If so, none of these activities were promoting peace. They were only maintaining and even encouraging the already chaotic, non-peaceful and un-unified environment.

Sisters, are we being the change we want to see? You know we women are change agents, right? We possess so much unrealized influence and authority. We are the thermostats in the room and we are not even aware of it. If we want peace in our environments, we have to be peaceful. If we don’t want to be a part of the chaos that is around us, we have to choose to not be just that. And trust me, mess makers can’t mingle (even if they try) with peace makers. Like the old saying goes, oil and water don’t mix. My observation: the oil will always rise to the top.

Sisters, we are the heart of the home. We are the fine details in the big plan. We are the change agents. I encourage you to embrace and exercise your authority and influence in any situation. Check yourself to see how you may be impacting your situation, environment, or circumstance. Are you being the change you want to see? If not, the change starts with you.

Remember, Sister U Matter!®

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WARNING: I’m in my feelings as I write this post. So this post may step on, no crush, some toes. My apologies in advance.

I’m so tired of us, sisters, just being good workers. You know, we are good workers at church, on the job, in the community, in our families, etc. But our character is so questionable. Our gossiping, our judging, our mess making, our pot stirring, our two-facedness, etc. is causing so much headache, heartache and chaos for others. Yeah, we are good workers. We show up on time, perform the assigned tasks and do quality work all the while tearing down the people around us, especially our sisters.

Most of us are talking behind each other’s backs while smiling in each other’s faces. We are so quick to share someone else’s business without considering the hurt, shame and/or pain that we may be sharing with it. Being just a good worker is not enough. Where is our good character?

Where is kindness, honesty, sincerity, humility, love?

Where is meekness, gratitude, authenticity, compassion, integrity, loyalty?

Where is genuineness, consideration, joy?

You see, it’s about character, too. I’m encouraging each of us to look at ourselves and determine which character traits we need to keep and further develop and which we need to discard and never revisit again.

Remember, when we tear each other down, we are only tearing down ourselves because we are sisters. When one woman--our sister--hurts, it hurts all of us. We are all connected. We have more in common than not. We all bleed red blood. We all breathe the same air. We all have feelings. We all have been hurt. We all can help each other heal. We are all sisters.

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Recently, someone shared with me someone else’s opinion of me. It was not a good opinion. I would be lying to you if I said that hearing that opinion did not disappoint me. It did and very much so. I just didn’t expect it and their opinion certainly was not true.

So I found myself thinking about the opinion most of the day—even got mad about it. I was asking myself questions like, “How did they come to that conclusion?” “When did they form that opinion?” “What did I do that may have influenced them to think that way of me?” Then I was reminded of a frequent saying of one of my former junior high school algebra teachers: Opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one.

Opinions are just opinions; not facts. They are someone else’s thinking about or judgement of you and/or a situation. Here are a few definitions of the word opinion:

• a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge (Oxford Dictionaries)

• a belief based on experience and on seeing certain facts but not amounting to sure knowledge (Wester’s Dictionary)

• a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty (Dictionary.com)

So my encouragement to you today—Don’t you dare wear someone else’s opinion of you. What I mean by this is DO NOT take ownership of what other people say or think about you, especially if it is negative and/or untrue. It’s their opinion. It does not have to become your opinion of yourself.

Remember…Sister U Matter!®

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