Sister U Matter!
Stuck?
by B.C. Raines on 08/07/16
Did you realize that we can hold on so tightly to our past that we remain stuck, unable to move forward? Stagnated? This stuck position hinders our enjoying our present and embracing our future.
I am reminded of a person I recently met. This person had been praying for a spouse for approximately 10 years. Their spouse of a little more than 10 years had passed away 10 years ago. This person’s marriage had ended in death. As this person began to explain their dating journey, I began to realize something: This person was searching for someone to fill their previous spouse’s position during the dating phase of their relationship (the person’s relationship with the now deceased spouse). Yep, this person had become stuck in two decades of space and time. This person was stuck at the beginning of a previous relationship—not the end but the beginning. Sadly, this person was trying to recapture a moment that was long gone and was chasing that dream instead of creating new memories.
Are you stuck? Are you so fixated on what you think you want and how it should look? If so, you may be missing out on some wonderful treasures sitting right in front of you, waiting for you to grasp them. These treasures usually don’t look anything like you imagined, like nothing you were expecting but they could be the answer you need, the resolution you seek.
The person I mentioned earlier was stuck at the beginning of a past beautiful relationship but I want to remind us that we can become stuck in any area of our lives: our careers, our traditions, etc. Where are some areas in which you may be stuck? I challenge you to identify them so that you can more forward and gain all that's been awaiting you.
There is an awesome future just waiting for us to embrace it!
Truth…Honesty
by B.C. Raines on 08/01/16
Truth is what we say.
Honesty is what we do and why do it.
Truth is those words that come out of the mouth.
Honesty is those actions that come from the heart. Honesty is about our motives for doing what we do.
Yes, it’s good to tell the truth but it is far more liberating for everyone involved to be honest.
Here’s an example:
Truth (what’s spoken): While dating, I may tell people, I don’t want to be married. I will be a good person and great companion in a relationship. We can live and/or act like we’re married but I’m just not the marrying type; not even interested in marrying anyone.
Honesty (what’s in the heart): I am not interested in marriage to the current person that I am dating. My heart belongs to someone else. I am leaving the door open in my heart for him/her to return so I can marry that person.
Do you see the difference between truth and honesty? I get it. I understand that telling the truth can hurt because sometimes the truth hurts. But not being honest with people (including ourselves) causes a pain so devastating that the damage can sometimes be beyond repair.
Let’s choose honesty in every area of our lives. It will lead to success and peace in all of our endeavors. See honesty is more than our words; it tells others--and ourselves--about our character.
Truth or honesty…you choose.
Where Were They?
by B.C. Raines on 07/24/16
Those fears we set out to find last week. Where were they? Where were those fears hiding? Did they surprise you? I know I’m honing in on the fear topic but it’s so essential that we deal with our fears. I have learned the hard way that if we don’t, they become weaknesses (most times hidden) that will hinder us from successfully living our lives to the fullest. There is an awesome plan for our lives just waiting for us enjoy. However, those unresolved fears will stifle our ability, stagnate our energy and stall us from moving forward and pursuing and savoring all that life has in store for us.
See, these weaknesses create blind spots that will cause us to be broadsided. You know how when you are traveling in a vehicle and all of sudden you realize that your vehicle has been hit by something. I mean you did not see it coming: You were just driving along, staying in your own lane and obeying the traffic laws; being as safe as you can be to ensure that you did not cause an accident. Initially, you are not sure where your vehicle has been hit; what hit it; the damage caused by the hit, etc. All you know is that your vehicle has been hit and temporally disabled.
This “vehicle wreck” is the same type of effect that unresolved fear can have on our lives. Before we know it, we react to the fear usually disguised as something else (fear, anger, guilt, etc). Life is negatively impacted and we aren’t even sure of what happened, how it happened and/or why it happened. Our lives are disabled and can in some instances be derailed. Some of us never bounce back from the “wreck” and the results of those reactions become more adverse events in our lives.
So again, where were they? If we did not look for them last week, I challenge us to search for them this week. We are in the best position right now to recognize them, address them and resolve them. We can avoid a future “wreck” by resolving them. Additionally, regarding the “wrecks” that have already occurred, we can cause the effects of the unresolved fear to be a temporary disabling instead of a life-long derailment.
So, go find them. I promise you, you won't regret it.
Where Is It?
by B.C. Raines on 07/17/16
Where is it?
You ask: ‘Where is what?’
Where is your fear? Where is it hiding? Does it look like anger? Does it look like worry? Does it look like discouragement? Anxiety? Does it make you look defensive? Aggressive? Does it make you look timid? Unemotional? Weak? Hard? Heartless?
Where is it? It’s somewhere. Each of us has at least one of them. And if we’re really honest with ourselves, we have many more than just one. See, before we can address our fears, we have to acknowledge them. We have to identify them and recognize them for what they really are.
Here are some commonly voiced ones:
- I am not enough.
- I don’t have enough…education, money, time, talent, etc.
- I don’t want to be alone.
- I fear for my safety.
- I fear for the safety of my loved ones; my child, my grandchildren, my parents, my siblings, my spouse, etc.
- I am not good enough.
- Nobody likes me.
- I’m different and just can’t fit in with others.
- I might fail.
So, where is it? These are just a few common fears that we, women beings, face from time to time in our lives. I’m not sure what your fears are but I strongly encourage you to identify and address them. If you don’t, I promise you that they will grow and began to adversely impact your life and possibly cost you your life.
I’ve heard it said, ‘that what we fear most will most likely happen’. It’s almost as if the fear cripples us from making decisions that would prevent us from the consequences of the fear. It’s as if life says-you will deal with this fear one way or another—ignore it, run from it, deny it but however you choose, you will address it and resolve it.
As painful as it may be, I encourage you to identify and address your fears. I promise you, it will be well worth the effort and will positively impact your life.
