Sister U Matter!

Don’t quit. Don’t give up. It’s not time yet.

Don’t hide. Don’t run. It’s not time yet.

Don’t lose your cool. Don’t fall apart. It’s not time yet.

It’s not time yet to walk out on you.

It’s not time yet to give up on those divinely inspired dreams.

It’s not time yet to forsake your faith.

It’s just not time yet. This situation is temporary; it will not last too much longer.

It’s designed to make you stronger and wiser. It’s designed to show you what you’re really made of—strength, love, courage, determination, tenacity and brilliance.

Keep moving forward and sometimes that may mean to just show up and/or to just stand still.

Remember, that through it all, Sister U Matter!®

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I just want to encourage you today…Sister U Matter!®

Regardless of what you are going through. Sister U Matter!®

Regardless of what you just came out of. Sister U Matter!®

Underemployed. Unemployed. Just tired of working. Sister U Matter!®

Single. Married. Separated. Divorced. Widowed. Sister U Matter!®

With children. Without children. Sister U Matter!®

Living with at least one chronic illness.  Sister U Matter!®

Grieving the loss of a loved one. Sister U Matter!®

Not pleased with what you see in the mirror anymore. Sister U Matter!®

Don’t quit.

Don’t throw in the towel.

Don’t stay in your pity party.

No matter what, remember… Sister U Matter!®

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“What was he thinking?” was the question I was left pondering after watching a professional football game some time ago. That game deciding play just did not make sense.  Why in the world would the team pass the ball within inches of the goal line? This was supposed to be the play that would have guaranteed a win.

Well, while watching television one morning, I had the opportunity to listen to an interview with the losing team’s coach. My summation of his response was simply: “It was a brilliant play and had it worked, we [the coach and interviewer] wouldn’t be having this discussion”. Ummm…he had a point and in my opinion, a pretty good one. He went on to explain that this very same scenario and strategy had been practiced multiple times while preparing for the big game; it was a component of the game plan. He further stated that although it yielded disappointing results, there was still some good that could be gained from it.

Question: Has there been a time when your well planned strategy didn’t work? I mean, you just knew that it was the most effective and efficient method to employ. Success was guaranteed if you utilized this plan. What could possibly go wrong? Everything you’ve learned, all the knowledge, skills and abilities have prepared you for this very moment… but the plan fails. How did it happen? But more importantly, what do you do? What’s your next step?

Here are some “next” steps that I learned from the interview:

1.     Experience It. Be real with ourselves regarding how we feel after the upset/loss. It’s a healthy response to a loss of any kind. Cry, scream, wallow in a temporary pity party if we have to; but we must give ourselves the gift of experiencing all of the emotions associated with the loss.

2.      Process It. This may require talking it out (discussing) with others. The coach stated that he had talked with the team the Monday after the game and reminded everyone of the plan and explained why that specific play decision was made. But what I really liked about the coach’s approach: He stated that he would be willing to discuss it again with the team members at another time if requested and/or needed. He understood that not only was this step immediately necessary but that it may also have to be repeated.

3.      Learn From It. What worked? What didn’t? Obviously, the plan did not yield the expected result, but why? Identify the strengths and needs of the plan and apply the lessons learned.

4.      Move Forward. A pity party is allowed but only temporarily. The best and most rewarding move after the loss is the next step forward to the many successes that lie ahead.

Remember that after the loss, the setback, the upset, there is a next step forward and the opportunities for success are still available and waiting on us to pursue and seize. They are still within our reach. Capitalize on the unexpected outcome, find the positive in it and get back in the game; the next play could be the best play. It’s time for the next play toward the goal...DOWN. SET. HIKE.

Repost February 2015

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Well, this is a proud parent of a son whose junior varsity football is still undefeated. That’s right: 5 and 0; the team has not lost a single game this season.

You know, that got me to thinking…still undefeated, ummm. That’s a good stat to have: all wins and no losses. But what about life? I’m not sure about you but I’ve had some losses in this life of mine. It's been some ugly ones, too. But do those losses mean that I am defeated?

An online search listed one definition of defeat as a win, a victory over (someone) in a battle or other contest; overcome or beat. It listed synonyms like: conquer · triumph over · get the better of ·  overcome · overpower · crush · subdue · wipe the floor with · make mincemeat of · clobber · slaughter · demolish · cream · skunk.

As I began to think about the losses in my life and considered the definition and synonyms of defeat, I quickly discovered that, ‘No, I am not defeated’.  As a matter of fact, I am still undefeated! Those losses did not totally take me out of the game of life—mentally, physically, or spiritually. Some of the losses came very close to wiping me out but I am still standing and still moving forward. I am still undefeated!

What about you? Are you still undefeated?

Regardless of the losses you have endured and/or will endure, I challenge to embrace an undefeated mindset. A mindset that declares that for as long as I am breathing, life will not defeat me. Chronic illness will not defeat me. Divorce will not defeat me. Losing my job will not defeat me. Betrayal will not defeat me. Single parenting will not defeat me. My past failures, disappointments and set backs will not defeat me. No…I am still undefeated.

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Well my son’s high school football team suffered their first loss of the season a few weekends ago. It was a huge loss: 7-35. Our team had been undefeated and had experienced huge wins in the previous weeks so this loss was so unexpected and it hurt. Did I mention that the opposing team was our down the street rival? Yeah, this loss hurt really badly.

As my son and I processed the game, I mentioned that our team seemed to not mentally to be in the game after a blocked punt by the opposing team which led to a touchdown in the first half of the game. My son stated that he thought it was the very next play when the other team’s onside kick definitely worked in their own favor. They scored another touchdown. That’s right, 14 unanswered points in a matter of minutes. Our team just never seemed to recover after those back-to-back plays.

You know sometimes life can hand us some devastating blows that may come a little at a time or like in the game mentioned above, just back to back to back. It can be hard to keep our balance and most definitely our focus can get skewed after we have suffered a series of blows. But I have to encourage you to keep your head in the game. There is still a win possible if we can just stay focused on the end result—a successful season.

Now ultimately, we want to win every game in life but there will be times when will lose by our own mistakes or by the opposing team just simply out playing us. Regardless of how we lose, let’s learn our lessons and keep our head in the game. The season is not over yet. We’ve got some more wins to count!

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